Mar 09 2009
What’s your policy on guys who groom (and those who won’t)?
Ever since the term “metrosexual” popped up, our attention has been turned to the ever-growing number of guys who have ever-expanding collections of beauty, or, hmm, manly grooming products and tools.
Personally, I think “metrosexual” is a little outdated as a term. Can’t a guy take care of himself without being tagged as something other than a man? A friend who’s in training to be a Navy SEAL enjoys the occasional mani / pedi, knows how to dress nicely when occasion calls for it, but is just as often to be found hanging around the house with the guys in his sweaty workout clothes, or jeans and a t-shirt. A “metro” he is not.
Or take another friend, who has a definite fondness for pinstripe suits and argyle, yet who has been growing what can only be described as dangerous talons for toenails for the past few weeks. I was unfortunate to be found in an impromptu, barefoot soccer game with him and have since threatened to cut said talons off while he sleeps.
No, I dislike the term “metrosexual” and don’t think it should be used to categorize men who groom. I’m just as likely to be found around the house in comfy clothes as I am to be out in a dress and heels, hair and make-up done. Nobody would categorize me as anything other than a girl (sometimes, a woman).
The reason I bring this up though is, though I enjoy a well-groomed man just as much as a ruggedly handsome one, is there a line when guys groom too much (or too little)? The same question could also be asked about girls - I don’t think anybody much likes the pancake makeup look.
But a few months back I went out with a perfectly nice guy who, in the car after dinner, remarked on how long my eyelashes are (and they are kind of abnormally long, though I understand this to be a good thing. And it is, though not when I wear glasses . . . they hit the lenses).
He then proceded to ask me if I curled them, which I thought was slightly unsual, but said, sure, most of the time, I curl them before I put on mascara.
He said, and I quote, “Oh, I curl my eyelashes too, though they’re not that long. What kind of curler do you use?”
Well, I have to admit, this was somewhat offputting. The thought of the two of us, standing next to each other in the bathroom mirror, sharing an eyelash curler - well, that just made him in my mind an instant girl friend.
It didn’t get any better when he shared that he had a more expensive, better-quality hair straightener than I did.
So should I have balked like I did? There were definitely other reasons I never answered his calls after that - the texting throughout dinner, the noise/gibberish/emo rock concert he took me to after dinner where we couldn’t hear a word the other said - but I can’t lie about the fact that the eyelash curling and hair straightening seemed more like girly grooming than manly grooming.
So what are your thoughts? I know Ashlee and Pete Wentz may share eyeliner, but I don’t know, that just doesn’t seem to be my thing. Anybody else got a guy who grooms - or one who doesn’t?
Hey, babykins, I just had to comment.
1) I’m sure Jack will appreciate the shout-out for his efforts (Sidenote: he recently bought a new pair of non-smelly shoes that he wears with socks. He was very proud of himself. He put so much thought into it that he texted me a picture to see what I thought before buying them. Baby steps.)
2) Makeup (and I include curlers in that category) definitely takes the man to metro. That is one of the grossest things about the guys in San Diego: soooo into their looks. When a guy spends more time than I do getting ready (and I’ll admit I don’t set the bar high, but it’s still there), I call him metro. And I can’t believe you didn’t include that curler anecdote in your email about emo-boy. I couldn’t disapprove of a person more.
3) I think a lot of the metro status also is about what the guy does that isn’t metro - that’s what brings them back to manly. All guys have their feminine points (all good ones, anyway) just like all girls have their manly moments. So he curls his eyelashes. Does he like sports of any kind (note: ballet, gymnastics, figure skating, etc. do not count in this category. In fact, they count against man points. Not that a guy who appreciates the ballet isn’t awesome . . . )? Interests other than make-up and fashion? I don’t know, cars, boats, naked chicks, whatever guys like. Does he love explosion-filled action movies or romantic comedies? If you can’t think of at least, let’s say 3 manly things a guy does/likes, I think it’s fair to categorize him as metro.
4) For instance, my sister’s husband was a male cheerleader in high school, owns more romantic/girly movies than she does, and is very sensitive about teasing (especially teasing about his appearance). He also wears plaids with stripes, is into motorcycles, can rebuild a car engine, and is obsessed with sports. I would not call him metro.
But that’s just my humble opinion.
Speaking of my humble opinion, where is my email . . . ?
Love you, boo!
Thanks for the thoughts, baby love!
1) I am also so proud of Jack and have to tell you, it’s adorable that he would text you pictures of the shoes.
2) I didn’t realize San Diego was so looks - obsessed! I wonder if that’s just a trapping of California . . . ? And being in a place where one can be tan and beautiful and not bundled up all the time? Hmmmm. But yes, anytime a guy puts in more effort than me, that’s a turnoff.
3) So, do you like this term metro? Because, I agree, there are guys who are groom and then, there are guys who GROOM. I just feel like “metrosexual” is kind of a strange, maybe outdated term.
4) You and your sister have contests about whose boy is girlier. So . . . ahahaha that’s adorable, but, no, I would not call either of them metro, either.
I like your humble opinions - keep ‘em coming!
And yes, I owe you an e-mail like woah and I am seriously going to get on it.
Love you too, boo!